My pain


I feel the pain everyday.

I feel it in everything that i do.

It is there when i lay down and rest.

I feel it even when i close my eyes and as i breathe.

I have been feeling this pain for a long time; like it is already a part of me.

It makes me confused as to whether this pain is what keeps me alive.

At first i thought that the pain will just fade away.

That if i endured for a little longer, my body and mind will eventually adjust to it.

I thought i was strong enough beat this.

I even thought that a little pain is okay.

It will not hurt me that much.

But now i can see how it is changing me.

I do not only feel pain; i also feel the anger spreading in my mind.

I can feel the anger inside me.

My heart beats with anger.

My mind constantly pushing me to my limits.

When will all of these stop.

I do not want this pain anymore.

I cannot have anger inside of me.

My soul is crying for help.

It wants and needs to escape.

I canot stay like this till the end of my life.

I have to save myself.

You may think that i am selfish.

Or that i am a coward.

Think whatever you want of me.

But just let me be.

Let me be free.


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