I feel the pain everyday.
I feel it in everything that i do.
It is there when i lay down and rest.
I feel it even when i close my eyes and as i breathe.
I have been feeling this pain for a long time; like it is already a part of me.
It makes me confused as to whether this pain is what keeps me alive.
At first i thought that the pain will just fade away.
That if i endured for a little longer, my body and mind will eventually adjust to it.
I thought i was strong enough beat this.
I even thought that a little pain is okay.
It will not hurt me that much.
But now i can see how it is changing me.
I do not only feel pain; i also feel the anger spreading in my mind.
I can feel the anger inside me.
My heart beats with anger.
My mind constantly pushing me to my limits.
When will all of these stop.
I do not want this pain anymore.
I cannot have anger inside of me.
My soul is crying for help.
It wants and needs to escape.
I canot stay like this till the end of my life.
I have to save myself.
You may think that i am selfish.
Or that i am a coward.
Think whatever you want of me.
But just let me be.
Let me be free.