FORGiveness

 

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How do you forgive anyone?

How do you forgive someone who does not even say sorry?

How do you forgive someone who doesn’t want to be forgiven, for in his mind he is right.

To forgive someone who believes that he did not do anything wrong?

How do you fogive and not feel hurt?

Maybe i do not know how to forgive.

Maybe i only know how to forget.

How many times should you forgive and feel betrayed over and over again?

How many times will you be fooled until you’ve had enough?

Tell me, when can i stop forgiving?

Who can i continue forgiving?

Is life all about forgiveness?

Am i wise if i always forgive?

Tg to  be fooled again?

How do i trust again after forgiving the one who keeps on hurting me?

If only forgiveness is as easy as hurting someone then everythign would be okay.

But it is not easy.It is more complicated than i thought.

It needs time.

It needs patience and trust.

It needs unconditional love.

It needs you to give yourself fully in order for it to be genuine.

Forgiveness is to give.To give yourself and trust again.

I do not know when or how i can give it to you.

But i will try.

To forgive and be forgiven.

You know who you are

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You do not own me.

I will not let you control me.

I refuse to be your puppet.

I know my worth and what i can do.

 I know you.

You should be afraid of me.

For i know your secrets.

I know what you are doing.

I can see what you are afraid of.

I know you.

I wonder how you sleep at night.

How can you look at me and not feel any guilt?

Darkness has changed you.

It is the only thing in your mind

I know you.

Everybody can see how it is eating you alive.

Engulfing every inch of who you are.

Until you become nothing in this world.

You are going to wake up with nothing.

You are nothing.

To be kind

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Kindness.

How much kindness can i give?

I have been giving a lot, but it is not enough.

Am i being selfish?

To be kind is a sacrifice.

I give up my own feelings for the sake of others.

I give up my rights for the sake of kindndess.

How long can i be kind when all they give is pain?

When all i feel is the hurt they’ve caused me.

When all i see is injustice around me,

Is it unfair to ask for kindness in return?

Now i have regrets.

Regrets because of kindness.

I cannot even pretend to smile anymore.

I cannot pretend much longer.

Teach me how to be kind without the pain.

Teach me to see the good in everyone.

To heal the wound  caused by kindness.

And i hope that one day…

someday…

I can give the kindness that i used to give.

Life is what you make of it.

 

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I am not going to say that life is easy or that life is complicated or difficult. Not everyone has the same kind of life. Some people have been living an easy breezy life.They have everything handed out to them without a sweat; not even an ounce of effort is needed. They are previleged in most aspect of their lives.Successful in almost anything that they do.

Unfortunately for some, life is a constant struggle. For them you have to work hard to get what you want. And sometimes they do not even get what they deserve.They work hard but it just goes unappreciated and unnoticed.

At an early age, i already knew that i had to work hard if i wanted something. I was raised to work for anything that i wanted.And as i grew up i kept that in mind. I needed to give my full effort even if i am not sure if i will succeed.

There were times that my life was easy.Everything that  i planned and wanted, happened. There are also times when i had done everything that i can but still ended up with nothing but  a broken heart and  a lost soul.Times when i felt  that there was nothing in the world for me.That nothing can make me happy anymore.Times when i lose my interest in everything; even in life.

Sometimes you think you have things figured out.Then you plan everything and work your ass off to get it.But it is still not enough. Then you give it another try;only to find out that you can never have it because it was never for you in the first place.So depressing right?What else can you do? Well you can either be mesirable your whole life or just move on and continue to live the life that you want.You can choose to continue going down or get the hell back up and live the life that makes you happy.Always choose what can make you really happy inside.

There will always be problems in this world.Problems existed in tha past, is existing in the present and will exist in the future. Everyone has problems.I have problems,my loved ones have problems, and friends have problems.So why kill yourself with all these problems.One problem ends but another one emerges.

The way i see it, we can make life simple.

Here are some steps to make life simple.

  1. If you see something as a problem, either you do something about that problem or you just ignore it. (And by the way, if you only keep on complaining about it but not doing anything.Please just shut up instead.) Face your problem or ignore your problem.
  2. If you want to achieve something, work hard for it.Fight for it even if you fail. But you have to learn how to move on also  if it is not for you.
  3. Enjoy the little things.
  4. When you are happy, then be happy.And if you are sad, then be sad. Why pretend? It is so tiring to pretend being happy when you are crying inside.No one should hide how he/she feels.
  5. Let love help you.Love can make life simple.

A simple life, that is what i want my life to be.

April 1, 2016

START

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I have decided to start writing again. Write about my thoughts,feelings and people around me who constantly test my patience. People who motivate me in practicing my creative thinking on how to kill them in my mind.Well maybe not kill them…i am not a murderer..yet. Maybe just make them suffer a little bit.There are people who were born to make you question what is right and wrong.

 

Anyway,my life has been so stressful these couple of months and i have been having an awful lot of headaches. I think it’s because i think a lot; a side effect of caring too much, i think..hmm(see i am thinking again…haha) Sometimes i prefer not to talk since i already have a lot going on in my mind.Oh how do i stop this?

So i am really hoping that writing again can help calm me down.You know, organize my thoughts.Prevent myself from doing something that i might regret afterwards.haha..

Goodluck to me and to the people that i am going to write about.So just continue to piss me off and you could be lucky one chosen as my next topic.

See you soon 🙂