Repeating history

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When we do something that we then realize is a mistake, we are given a chance to learn from it. We don’t just regret what we did…no..that is not the point.The point is do we learn from it and use it to remind us not to do the same stupid thing again in the future.They say that these mistakes make us strong and wise.Yeah right.

Well maybe it does not apply to the matters of the heart.I mean if it is true, i’d only get my heart broken just once right?My heart always gets broken no matter what i do.Not getting hurt when you fall in love seem impossible to achieve. I am not saying that i never learn.. I do. But not everything.. It’s like i know that there is  a huge possibility that i might end up getting hurt again if i do it..but still i take a risk.All in the name of love .LOL..Or maybe i do learn from my mistakes but i am just in constant denial that what i am doing is a mistake.This is so confusing.

I know it’s a mistake.But i also know that it makes me happy. It makes me happy in ways that other things can’t. Am i willing to choose happiness over what is right? Am i being selfish if i put myself first?Why does it need to be complicated just to be happy?

Now, i have chosen what is right. i should feel good for doing what is right.I should be proud of myself. But i can’t and i am not. Letting go of my happiness is so damn painful that i lost my hope in everything again. I used to think that one’s happiness is the most important thing in life.What is the use of living of you are not happy with it.Oh this is depressing..haha..This is a big dilemma for me.Should i just repeat history and welcome the possibility of being happy again or just accept the fact that whatever i do  or how much i explain my actions, It is still not right.

Honestly, i do not know what to do.Maybe i have not learned my lesson.  What can i say..love makes u do stupid things.It can even make you repeat history.

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