My Someone

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She was always full of hope about everything.She loved falling in love and the feeling of being loved. The heartbreaks never stopped her from trying to fall in love again.She knew that someday her true love will come.Her one true love will be the proof of all her beliefs about love.The “one”.And she will be forever happy in the arms of that person.Oh what a never ending bliss that would be.

She wanted to prove everyone wrong.True love exists and so does forever. It may take time..But she won’t give up.Time was never a problem. Everyday, she felt that she was one step closer to meeting her true love.It will happen. It has to. Or else what would be the meaning of her existence?

While patiently waiting for the ”one”, She met someone.. Someone was sweet and funny.She was so interested with someone.Someone was everything that she wanted.A dream come true she thought to herself. She.She started giving someone her time.And as time passed by she  also started giving away pieces of her heart. Day by day they talked. They shared memories.It was what made her day beautiful and exciting. It was what she looked forward to.That special conversation with someone.

Suddenly she noticed something different. Her heart was not the same anymore.It felt like it was not hers anymore.As she was talking to someone,she unconsciously gave away her whole heart.When she realized this, she began to feel scared. What if someone would not take care of her heart?What would happen to her heart then?She was so scared but she took the risk.There was nothing she could do.She wanted someone to have it.Someone should take care of it. She thought that her heart was enough to make someone stay for it was what she valued the most.

But you see…Someone was not yet ready.Someone was also scared.Scared that maybe she was not  the one.And someone was already holding another heart.Someone had to leave.

She was so sad that her tears would fall every time she thought of someone.She could not find her heart anymore.She left it with someone but someone could not be found.

This was not what she imagined her love story would  be. She was left there alone without her heart.Praying that someday, someone will be the one to give her,her heart back.

This is why you won’t give up.

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Have you ever felt like everything that you’re doing is wrong? As if every move that you make is a formula for disaster. What are you doing wrong that people seem to see only your flaws? It’s like you’re the apple of their eyes but in a bad way. Why is it always you? You know for a fact that you are doing your best but it seems like other people could not see your hard work. Actually, they don’t see you working at all. You work your ass off but all they can see is your mistake. One stupid mistake and they think you are worthless. And so you lose that little hope that you’ve got since the first day that you started working. You thought you’d be able to adjust easily and learn everything that you needed as fast as possible. Unfortunately, everything has not been going well. As expected.

You become irritated and a bit anxious. You feel like they need to hear your side of the story. To explain everything that happened. And that what happened was not really a mistake but was just a mere victim of coincidence. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. How would you explain all of these to them? Even if you could, would they even believe you? They don’t even trust you. So what makes you think that they would believe each and every word that comes out of your mouth? Life’s a bitch sometimes. You play fair but life can change the rules anytime it wants.

Then you realize that you can’t give up. You are already on your lowest. The good thing is..you also have nowhere else to go but “up”. Why give up if tomorrow you’ll be on top? Why not try again to be better if tomorrow you can be the best? Why not show each and every one of them that you are not what they think you are. Well what they think is not really important. But to see the look on their faces when they see how good and valuable you are? Now that is priceless.

Be confident but don’t be proud.Make mistakes but never stop learning. That is what matters.

It is not important if you’ve failed many times. The hell they care if you fail a hundred times! You should be happy because those hundred times of mistakes, shows how strong you are because YOU never gave up. You fought to learn from everything.

So don’t you dare give up! For tomorrow you will be better than yesterday.

Love me now..

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I have been hurt many times by people i loved and by the one that i love. You.. My heart crushed over and over again, as if i have not learned anything.I have cried myself to sleep a thousand times. Waking up with the pain reminding me that i lost you. I tried to drink because i thought it could make me forget you, but all i could think about was our memories together. I tried talking to other people thinking it would help me not think about you.I was so desperate to forget you. I kept myself busy at work.I made sure that i was tired before i went home.Yes i tried all of these, but you are still in my head.

One look at your picture,

One message from you,

One memory from you,

and i feel everything.

i feel you.

I don’t know what you did to me or how you did it. All i know is i can’t feel anything else but the feeling that you made me feel being with you.

The warmth

The happiness

The love

and also the Pain.

Please save me before it’s too late.

I love you now..so so much.More than anything else.

But i am not sure if i’d still love you tomorrow.

Questions

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  How did i lose you?                                                                                                                                          I thought that what we were supposed to grow old together.                                                                          I Knew how to make you happy.                                                                                                                      And i also knew the things that would make you sad.                                                                                But still i lost you.

We had plans..,hopes and dreams.                                                                                                             We loved each other.                                                                                                                                   We were there for each other.                                                                                                                     We shared our deepest thoughts.                                                                                                               But why am i alone now?

When did it all start?                                                                                                                                   The petty fights and the never-ending arguments?                                                                                       Why couldn’t i trust u anymore?                                                                                                               What did we do wrong?                                                                                                                                   I thought we had it all figured out.

Now i am so confused.                                                                                                                               Why did the feeling suddenly disappear?                                                                                                   How do i fix something that i don’t understand?                                                                                               So many questions left unanswered in my mind. But the most important question of all is,                           How do i love you again?

                                                                                               

Let me love you

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Can you live a life without love just to avoid a broken heart?

What use is one’s life without love?

Are you willing to live your whole life with what if’s?

Don’t you want to feel how important you are to someone?

Would you rather give up the possibility that i could be the one who could make you happy for the rest of your life?

I am not asking you to love me.But i am asking you to let me love you. Let me show you what love is to me. I want you to feel the love that you deserve. Give me a chance to be with you for a lifetime. I may not be the most perfect person and might not even be the person that you’ve imagined to be with.But i know, deep in my heart and soul that you are the person that i want to give my heart to.

Your heart has been broken many times.And maybe it was given to the wrong person. So I get it that you are scared and I am scared too.Anyone who has loved so much knows how scary it is to try to fall in love again.My heart has been crushed too many times;i am surprised that i am still alive.Each time i get my heart broken i die inside.I feel like a part of me also died.I patiently wait for time to come and heal my bleeding heart. The good thing is it made me stronger.It made me learn how to love better than before. It taught me to hope and take a chance.I never let my fear of getting a broken heart stop me from loving again.Maybe i am just a hopeless romantic or just a fool who still believes that there is somebody out there for me. Either way, i am still going to love you.Please let me.

Let me love you with everything that i am.

Let me love you with the best that i can.

Let me make you happy.

Let me be your everything.

Let me be the one that you need.

There could be a hundred reasons for you not to fall in love, but if you give me a chance, I could be the reason for you to not to be afraid of love again.

Let me be the one to love you.

Not just friends…But a Family.

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We all have families. It maybe by blood or  even with those people who are always by our side.They are the ones who are always there for you not just when you are happy and everything is going well;but they are also the ones who stay with you through thick and thin.They never make you feel alone.They trust you and you trust them. And in case you do feel alone,they are more than willing to slap you in the face just so you’d feel their presence in your life. LOL..

Today was the only time that i got to spend some time with them. They are a unique kind of family.Just by sitting there, I saw how happy they were with each other.They support  and understand each other. Their memories and laughter could never be bought.I saw not only their unity but also their truthfulness.There was no need pretending to be somebody else when you are with them.They don’t look at you because of your past or what you have, they see you for who you really are.

 I bet that they never imagined that they would have a second family here in Saudi Arabia. Who would have known that these strangers would in the future become a  family. A family that supports you and loves you for who you are.No pretensions, no hidden agendas. They are not kind because they need anything from you, that’s not it. That is not them. They are the kind of family that welcomes anyone with kindness.What they have is what other people only dream of.

They symbolize what a family should be; full of love and acceptance.

So if you’ve got someone like them,You are one of the lucky ones.

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When you love

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Love makes us do things that we normally don’t do. Unconsciously it changes u. One day you’ll realize that you are not totally the same person that you were before you met the person that you love.Now, you are more forgiving and patient. You have to be, for your relationship to last. You learn to understand and accept her flaws.All of these are okay because you love her.

You don’t like waiting, but you still wait anyway. You wait for her to go home. You wait for the message that never came.They always say that if you love someone you must be willing to wait.It could be months,days, years or even eternity.And everyday you tell yourself not to lose hope. All you do is wait. Wait for her to love you.

Loving someone means forgiving almost everything. Forgiving her for hurting you, for letting you feel so much pain that you don;t know what to do anymore.You know that if you don’t forgive her you will lose her.And that is when you try to love her unconditionally. No matter what she does, in the end you’ll still love her.

When you love someone, you do your best to make her happy. Seeing her happy makes you more happy. It’s like your main purpose in life is to make her happy.Sometimes her happiness is the one thing that is causing you pain. Her happiness is your sadness.But since you love her, you’ll give her the happiness that she wants..and that is her Freedom.

So be ready to get hurt, to forgive, to wait and let go..when you love someone.